Sniffles

~ Gottfried

Kids can sniff out a moral. They can feel a heavy hand of an adult and it’s because their hearts are pure. Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and affecting my life. Everything I buy smells vintage and funny. Maybe that’s why I can’t keep a girlfriend. 

A nose that can see is worth two that sniff. Anyone can sniff a forest fire. Skill lies in sniffing the first smoke. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. Sniffing glue won’t keep families together. The man who scratches his ass should not bite his fingernails.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy by they prefer to watch you die. A man’s best friend versus the undertakers’ best mate who’s trying to depopulate the earth.

No matter how good the hand soap smells, don’t walk out of a bathroom sniffing your fingers. Books smell nice and sometimes it’s okay to take a little sniff. But an extended sniff on that paperback for too long will have people looking at you like you’re insane. And they will be right!

Sniffing is like reading the morning newspaper for dogs. Like the herd of animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. A bad mood is like bad breath. Both are wrong to inflict on others. Hygiene is important, you have to smell good once a day at the very least. 

I can smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly. 

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

20 thoughts on “Sniffles”

  1. Oh Dear Lord Mr Gottfried the Price of Smell
    And Even Taste Just Doesn’t Always

    Smell and
    Taste Right

    Again the Story
    Of When i Lost my
    Smell And Taste in the
    Spring of 2017 from a seemingly
    Benign Common Cold Virus Well
    Before Pandemic Days Finding Out

    That What i thought was a Fixed Gift
    For Taste and Smell couldn’t Just Only
    Go Away Destroyed by the Virus the Neurons
    in my Nose Yet then the Big Surprise or Shall i
    Dictate Horror Show on the Solar Eclipse Day

    Of August 21st 2017
    The Day the Doomsday
    Smell and Taste Replaced
    No Smells and Tastes at All

    As Everything Started Smelling
    And Tasting Like Rotting Flesh for
    A Year or So After that until my Smell
    And Taste So Slowly Abnormally Returned

    Indeed a Real Condition that Drives some Folks
    to Suicide Yet Just another Cross to Carry in Life

    After already experiencing a Pain assessed as Worse
    Than Crucifixion Yep the Worst Pain Known to Humankind
    You’ve Heard it Ad-Nauseam Reported Before Type Two Trigeminal
    Neuralgia Wake to Sleep No Drug Would Touch Losing the Functional
    Ability to Use my Eyes and Ears effectively with so much Pain Losing

    the Memory of
    Ever Ever Feeling
    A SMiLe mY Entire Life Then for 66 Months

    A Thousand Years of Hell every second

    in Places Demons Fear to Tread
    Yes Hell for Real Within with 18
    Other mostly Work-Related Stress
    Disorders in a Synergy of Life Threat too

    Just another Cross to Bear like Not ever being
    Able to touch Most Manmade Materials Yes With
    Severe Tactile Sensitivity Distress living a Life
    of Hands Closed this way protecting finger

    Tips
    from
    Torture

    The Challenge of
    Losing Effective Use
    of Most All Usual Measured
    Senses and Feelings the Living

    Dead For Real

    Yet of course

    Just Preparing
    me for another
    Dooms Day Next

    It’s True I’m Sure it’s
    Not Easy to Be Crucified

    For 3 Hours to 3 Days

    Yet AFIK NoW i surely didn’t Sign
    Up Before with ‘The Big Boss’
    For 66 Months mY FRiEnD

    Just imagine How Much
    The Return of at Least
    Seeing Hearing Taste and Smell

    And The Feeling of A Smile Now
    Are All Heaven to me Particularly

    Loving Peace
    This is No

    Myth

    No Fictional
    Story It’s Real

    Bang Bang
    No Thing is
    Guaranteed
    Ride the Wave
    in Balance as
    Long as We Can
    Will and Do as Long
    As This Only Gift Lasts Now

    For
    Real..:)

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  4. I could say that this post stinks and it does. Re the morning newspaper, my dog also enjoys reading it. That’s right. When I left the house today she was poring over a very interesting article.

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  7. Polyester was a 1981 movie (featuring Divine) that was advertised as having Smellivision. Moviegoers were given scratch-n-sniff cards with numbered scent squares: when a number flashed on the screen you scratched the corresponding box on the card and took a whiff. It was, um, disgusting.

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