No new Friends

~ Gottfried

Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this. A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.

Happiness is insulting your best friend for no reason. You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, I’ll train you. Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless. Good friends pee together, but best friends puke together. Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it but only you gets the warm fuzzy feeling it brings.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people. Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there. Not really great for punching though. There’s nothing better than a friend unless it’s a friend with chocolate.

One good reason to maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. True friendship is when your friends are always there by your side when you need them, and when you don’t.

Friendship is being there when someone is feeling low and not being afraid to kick them. Love is blind, friendship closes its eyes. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another; ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one”

Anyone can make you smile. Many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I have finished laughing. Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard. If your friends don’t openly laugh at you then are they really your friends? We’ll be friends till we’re old and senile.

And then we can be new friends

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

174 thoughts on “No new Friends”

  2. You couldn’t have said it any better. “Good friends pee together, but best friends puke together. Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it but only you get the warm fuzzy feeling it brings.” Funny though😃

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  4. Pingback: No new Friends – New Found Hope

  7. My favorite reason for limiting my personal circle… “One good reason to maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” Great writing and humor too. 😁💀

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  10. I thought you were lost! i checked my favourite three friends and someone had turned you off! maybe my gingerbread man of a husband finally got jealous! i doubt it!

    I don’t want to be your friend, you write beautifully, if i kick you it is because i want you to pull my hair and pleasure my world! I will take out all your friends you keep them close for a reason and any dark masters! As goddess i really am weighted 7th bandage of magic might be trouble, but if you can cope with dark autists as friends, my little masters are awesome!

    Your cheeky in all the right ways, which is how you know we probably won’t be friends for long! Mr & Mrs smith or the good life!😊🌹

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      1. Well that was nice to wake up to! Fell in a small bottle of red last night! lonely for cuddles!😢 then after a cold bath this morning as it is tropics! i think i could do with you finding a ruck sack to fit! lol😊🌹

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          1. To be fair it was zinfadel! i reckon they roofied it what a waste of a black out! We had a lay in was naked when the staff entered! lol🤣 that sounds so wrong! so i would say both a well deserved power nap for a friend and a returned Vatican central all glam with fangs!🌹

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          3. gingerbread husband was smiling! my paras with an incubator body is awesome, you wish you were so toned! lol😢 mind you your blow up wife is also the safest option, she doesn’t moan or respond! the ideal wife! lol

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