Broken Down

My car broke down the other day. Funny thing though, the horn still works. This week started really rough but on a positive note, I don’t need any bail money and I don’t have to hide any bodies. Last saturday, a book fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame. 

What can be broken should be broken. Aside from being single, what else do you do for a living? Follow your heart but take your brain with you. It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken women. You were my cup of tea but I drink champagne now, so there’s that. 

Break ups aren’t always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships end in order for you to wake up. You can’t lose what you never had, you can’t keep what’s not yours, and you can’t hold something that does not want to stay. Let go of the fart and free your bowls. 

Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane. Having kids is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. All I attract is broken people. Lord if I’m a mechanic just say that! 

Sad? Depressed? Heartbroken? Cheated on? Did the cheating? Treated badly by a man, woman or child? Don’t worry…there’s a Taylor Swift song for that. Please don’t be fooled by Adele, you’ll never find someone like me. If your heart was really broken, you’d be dead. 

So shut up

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