Half Baked

~ Gottfried

A party without a cake is a meeting. A great many things can be resolved with kindness, even more with laughter, but there are some things that just require cake, or a brownie. Life is both complicated and simple. The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. 

Baking is how people who hate cooking at least get to make dessert. It is 10% recipe and 90% hoping the smoke detector doesn’t go off. I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge. Then to the oven. Now I have cookies. A meeting with a cake is a promotion.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Cooking is an art, but baking is a science. Baking is the science for hungry people. And sometimes that science blows up in your face. My diet plan is to send all my friends cupcakes. The fatter they all get, the thinner I look. 

I bake because punching dough is cheaper than therapy. Baking makes me feel like a chemist, except my lab experiments are delicious. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cupcakes. And that’s kind of the same thing. Where there is a whisk, there’s a way. 

You called the man of your dreams who then put you on hold because the woman of his dreams was calling, and then she put him on hold because the man of her dreams was calling, and then he put her on hold because the woman of his dreams was calling, and then you woke up. 

To the man of your dreams calling. 

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

18 thoughts on “Half Baked”

  1. ‘Half Baked’ Mr Gottfried Perhaps i feel what you mean

    ‘Brownie Points’ for ‘Faustian Deals’

    ‘Let them Eat Cake’ While

    the ‘Well Heeled’ Thrive

    Ah Yes the ‘Revelation’ of
    Human Archetypes Remain

    For What Will Selfish Greed
    Bake For A Cake With Additional
    Icing to even make a Mud Mix Out
    of Elders to Build even Higher Golden Pyramids

    Perhaps a Little
    ‘Evolution Orange’
    Is in the Oven From
    ‘Earth Wind & Fire

    As the Cake Falls
    in with Icing

    Melting

    With a Parking
    Lot Paved over Paradise

    for
    Real…

    Hehe to be clear
    Just watching the
    S Show from ‘Eden’
    Pass the Popcorn ‘Eve’
    The Circus hasn’t nearly left yet…

    or
    Right..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. “Watching from a distance
        looking over paradise”

        Hehe Mr Gottfried
        only it’s Impossible
        to Open up my WordPress
        Blog with a Smart Phone not
        even the New iPhone 18 Pro Max Works

        Perhaps Next Year Heaven will be available

        On a New
        7 Inch iPhone
        20th Anniversary
        Edition IF they finally
        raise the RAM to 16GB

        Until then fortunately other
        Avenues are available for a
        General Overview of Heaven that

        Works
        on a
        Smart
        Enough Phone hehe

        Like

        Reply

  3. That endless chain of “man of your dreams / woman of his dreams” calls is a neat little parable about how desire, attention, and timing rarely line up. Waking up to the actual call is both the punchline and the small mercy. After all the smoke detectors and fridge-to-oven detours,the real promotion might simply be showing up for the person who finally answers.

    Thank you for the collection. It made me want both a cookie and a quieter phone.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. So basically, after reading all that, I’ve concluded that baking is just therapy with butter, sugar, and a smoke detector on standby. 😂
    2. That last paragraph? You really spent the whole time baking, only to end with a full blown relationship traffic jam. 😭
    3. The man of your dreams is probably still trying to figure out which woman put him on hold. 😂😂
    4. Finally, just bake the man a cake, If he doesn’t answer, eat it yourself. Problem solved

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